this is from someone JEREMY met in business that they both learned to
love each other - he is 88 years old - he is very special to David and I...-Jamie
I just found out that March 1 was the anniversary of your birthday....and
I want to thank you for being born and to have made such an impression on
our part of this world in so short a time.
I read almost all the messages on your Friend Ericalynn's website honoring your
birthday and was most pleased to see the outpouring of love from all you
knew you. I spent a warm tme going over the events listed and felt what
really was a celebration of your life....not usually done for someone who
left us much much too early.
I thought to myself as I read all these outpourings........of all the
millions and millions of people who have lived on this planet and have
crossed the sands of time without leaving the slightest hint of a
footprint.........here was a young man in thirty short years has left enough
of himself in so many lives that convinced me that you were an organ
donor.......you have donated some much of yourself to so many people,that
you will never die...there is and will always be a little bit of Jeremy in
all of us...and we all are much better for it.
Thanks, and sleep well, my friend..
Your uncle Larry
Thinking of you too. I'm certain Jeremy would want all the people he loved to be happy on this day. It was a glorious day-we could not have asked for better weather. It's a good thing that we have a friend upstairs. Jeremy is in my thoughts and of course I'll wish him a happy birthday. What a mitzvah that he was loved by so many people. Love, Kathalyn
Hi Jamie and David,
Thanks for letting me know about Jeremy's birthday. I'm feeling really so sad for you both today and can't imagine the pain/overwhelming emotions you may be feeling this whole week.
I looked at the website and enjoyed the pics that you have on there of Jeremy. Since I knew so little about him, it's fun to see the little boy growing up within seconds of each picture changing on the screen. How fast(too fast) that time probably went by for you as well. I just spoke to my daughter Jordana on the phone in Canada and told her that I feel so sad whenever I think about you experiencing the utmost of sadness......I can't stop thinking about it. I don't like thinking about it and I wish it weren't this way. You are both so wonderful and knowing that Jeremy is not here to hug, talk to or even call on the telephone seems impossibly unfair.
Great, you were probably having birthday cake, playing with Skylar or doing something else to avoid this crap and here I am piling it on in your faces. SORRY> Really. I just want you to know that I am so moved by your continued efforts to move forward in your lives but never leaving your memories of your beautiful son far behind you. I wish I knew him better. I wish he could be here to guide my son down a path of CLEAN SOCKS and POSSIBILITY. I will always hope that the heartache lessens for both of you and that the creativity and vibrancy G-d gave to each one of you guides you to exciting places in life.
Once again, Thank you for having introduced me to your Jeremy and to the brief pleasure he bestowed upon my son.
Love and big HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS,
Your Father, My Son -- Part II
by David Wainland
My dearest Skylar,
It has been a while seen I have written about your father and because today is his thirty second birthday it seemed to be appropriate.
There is a time the life of any person turns from truth to myth and that usually begins with their funeral. It was that way with your dad. Those that spoke eulogies did so in glowing tributes. Suddenly the things a person did wrong in life dissipate like early morning fog, Shakespeare’s play about Julius Caesar, quotes Mark Anthony as saying of Caesar in his eulogy, “The evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred in their bones.” Not true, no eulogy speaks of the bad, only of the good.
So the myth begins and the true worth of the man is often forgotten,
Your father is like that. When we honor him in our memory things that now endear us to him in death may have angered us in life. For instance, we laugh at the way your father kept his rooms, his cars, and his house. His world built on layers of clothing, papers, books and candy wrappers, we think of those times with laughter and love. Though while he lived those same habits drove us crazy.
Even today when I enter the bathroom I expect to find the sports section of the newspaper on the floor. When I sit on a couch I search for the loose change he would have left behind.
Your father had a thing when it came to white socks; he never wore the same pair twice. It was a joke to his friends and a source of irritation to his parents. After he died one friend explained it to us. He would say, ”Do you know remember putting on a new pair of white socks and how good it felt? For a few dollars I get that feeling every day.
While he never cleaned his car if he ever met somebody in need, a child or an adult, he was always able to reach inside that debris and pull out a gift for that person that would make his or her day.
He followed a band, “The Disco Biscuits,” the name hardly describes the music they play, and your mother referred to them as “The other woman.” Maybe they were, because his love for music outstripped everything except his love of family. You were his greatest love.
Somebody commented that Jeremy loved to party, he did. But more then party he loved taking care of Kira and you. He worked long evening hours as a waiter and as a physical trainer in the day so that you would lack for nothing,
He was working the late shift in a restaurant on New Years Eve; you were just two months old. You mom brought you to visit him and as he held you in his arms somebody fired a random shot into the air and the spent bullet hit him in the arm, missing your head by inches. It was a little miracle, but a devastating time for him. He almost lost you, but through the grace of God he had you for six more months, and then it was he who died so unexpectedly.
The night we lost him he was partying, “The myth,” but in truth he was celebrating having found himself and finally involved in a venture he felt would guarantee wonderful lives for your mom and you, “That was the reality.”
I spoke with him for the last time the night before he died. I never heard him happier. He had you and Kira and he had the success he longed for.
How do we separate the myth from man? It can’t be done. Through the years the myth will grow out of proportion to the man he was.
Which one will I celebrate? My personal myth of course. The boy that was born in chaos, his struggle for identity, his time in the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, and the day he obtained Eagle. I will remember him as a freshman and junior varsity football player and as a national champion debater. I’ll remember when he returned from his trips around the world he always had appropriate gifts. He never got it wrong. And finally I will remember the boy/the man who celebrated every occasion with flowers for his mother.
Yes, he partied hard enough to earn the respect of the band. They flew in to Florida from all points to do a special fund raising concert for you and your mom. “Disco” followers stood in long lines to say their own goodbyes and begin the new myths. They even built a website around him, www.jeremyland.net
I went to the cemetery today, the stone was there, he wasn’t. I read a quote the other day that said it best. “We don’t have a soul, we are the soul. We have a body.” His soul has moved on and in part it is in you, my little bit of Jeremy.
So here we are, it's your 32nd birthday (yes, you're still older) and of course, I miss you so much. But you knew that.
First and foremost I want you to know that everyone is celebrating for you on your special day. Ira and I are going out for a drink in your honor and I think I convinced him to get sushi with me, as I realized that you and I never actually had sushi together but you somehow wound up having sushi with pretty much everyone else, and everyone had a story to tell about it.
I was laughing so much the other day when I heard the story again about how you went out for all you can eat sushi and ate the equivalent of 10 large cups of rice, of course, in the midst of your obsession with personal training and physical fitness. You're the only person I know who actually takes the term "all you can eat" to a level that is ridiculous yet maintain such a clean, together, wonderfully intelligent exterior ... and manage to convince those around you that 10 large cups of rice is completely normal.
Things haven't been so easy lately but I am always thinking of you and I'm so happy that there are people in my life who remember you and tell me stories like that (or remember things alongside me about you) and even happier that there are people in my life who never knew you but allow me to talk to them about you, even some who remind me so much of you that I can't help but feel blessed.
I talk to your mom every once in awhile and she is just so strong and so patient and so candid, and so proud of you; so proud of the life you led and how you led it, even though it was way too short for any of us to take. I also have become close with Kira which is such a great little surprise for both of us (I know you can hardly believe it yourself...!)
I know you always feared long ago that no one really loved you but I hope now you know that you were more than loved. Not a day goes by without so many people constantly thinking of you and remembering you and loving you, so please always keep that close to you.
Happy 32nd birthday, Jeremy.