Tarnished Pennies
by David Wainland
Today is July 6, the fourth anniversary of my son’s passing and as always, my wife and I, made a pilgrimage to the cemetery where he lays, a journey of remembrance. In my pocket nestled beneath the prayer book I have my eighteen-cents and a small stone both of which we will leave on the dark granite headstone. The stone that reads,
JEREMY WAINLAND
BELOVED SON
BROTHER
FATHER
NEPHEW
HUSBAND
“IF I HAD THREE WISHES…”
MARCH 1, 1973-JULY 6, 2003
The quote comes from a letter sent to us by the members of a band, The Disco Biscuits, a popular group that our son followed. At the bottom of the page, they wrote, “If I had three wishes, I wish I could see you again.”
I do not know how many events, concerts, and jams he attended, but they must have been in the dozens. After he died, the band members put together a special concert in his honor. That night fans of the Biscuits, Jeremy’s friends, his family and our friends flew and drove in from all parts of the country. The profits from that event went to a fund we established for Skylar, his daughter.
It was a two-night concert and during the second, they invited our family onto the stage. I stood their holding Skylar on my shoulders and watched the fans pass the hat. Kids living on borrowed dollars stuck their hands in their pockets and found something to give. Some loved him, many knew him, others had heard of him and still others simply wanted to be a part of the memorial.
We never knew the depth and breath of his relationships until that night. He kept that side of him private. We only knew him as our son. They, his fellow followers, knew the other side and they told us stories that night that painted a new picture.
He only wore a pair of white sox one time and then he threw them away. Wherever he went, he would bring a gift, however small. Jeremy was not shy, he talked until you begged him to stop, but he always had something to say that mattered. Over the years that he followed the band he slept on floors, shared beds and crawled into sleeping bags under the stars. Whatever he had, he shared. He had no respect for small change and wherever he sat, that is where his coins collected. Jeremy left a trail of quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies like Hansel and Gretel left breadcrumbs. The clink of copper and silver marked his presence as he passed through this world.
We learned of many things that night, things we wish he had shared with us before he left. Those stories and anecdotes make up the man he was and the boy his friends remember. They have a web page in his memory, www.jeremyland.net and four years later, they are still posting tales and memories. Some of these have taken on a life of their own, growing larger with each passing day.
Because of this, visiting his grave gets a little easier every year.
Today, as we stood in front of the stone and looked down I saw a scattering of tarnished copper pennies, remains of the many times over the years I have placed eighteen-cents on his grave. We put a new dime, nickel, three shiny pennies and a small stone on his marker to let the world know we were there. He left behind a bright collage of memories to let the world know where he had been.
*****
It's hard to believe that tomorrow, July 6, marks 4 years without Jeremy.
I'd like to say that it's gotten easier but frankly, it has only gotten tougher.. as wonderful things happen, I do not have my friend Jeremy to share them with. As life goes on, he has not, and I miss him more than I think he'd ever realize. I am lucky to know his family and some of his dearest friends, and with that, I'd like to share a little something his mom wrote me a few days ago, which she asked I put on this site... as well as something that his best friend posted.
I love you and miss you,Jeremy. I am always thinking about you and hope that you are happy and smiling wherever you may be. I promise to always do right by you!
-----
from his mom, Jamie - after seeing the Disco Biscuits in Florida a few nights ago:
I felt like I was with them celebrating Jeremy’s life not his loss. I knew Jeremy was with me saying Mom, I can’t believe you are here, in the rain watching my guys play.
However, the crowd rocked as the music went on and on – people danced in the isles and celebrated the sounds that came from each instrument. I can never forget how they DiscoBiscuits touched our lives when they came 3 ½ years ago to do a weekend event that raised enough Money to help with Skylar’s College Fund- This band is one in a million.
and from his best friend, David Serle (posted on his own website on the occasion of Jeremy's bday this year)
Jeremy I will never forget you
A Letter to Jeremy Wainland 03/01/1973-07/06/2003 I will Never Forget You!!
There is not a minute that goes by that I dont think about you. You were my friend, my advisor, my family, and sometimes even my psychologist. You really never know what you miss until it is gone. Gone from your phone calls, Gone from your dinners, Gone from your team, Gone from your family, Gone from your life. I look at myself and I cant help but feel guilty. I feel like every time something good happens in my life it is at the expense of you, Jeremy. I always needed that nod from your face as approval. I yearn for that and ever since you have been gone it has not been the same. I miss you Jer. Time is supposed to heal all wounds or make me feel better over time. It has not. It has gotten worse. To think we have had many close calls including the time we went with Brad Burgess in that mustang when we were 15. It burnt to the ground and we made it out ok. I really never expected this as none of us did, but I cannot help but feel as if you are looking over me as so much good fortune has come to me after you passed. I know you had a hand in all of it. One day Jeremy, One day Jeremy. Happy Birthday Jer. Happy Birthday.
I BRAKE FOR SPEED BUMPS
By David Wainland
Speed bumps, a poor analogy
For the moments of crisis in life
I have always faced those occasions
With the resistance they deserve
No two alike
No two reactions the same
As I approach them
I brake for speed bumps
I brake
I never stop
If you know me
Know my writings
You’ll remember the bump
I rode through
July 6, 2003.
The day I learned
My son, Jeremy had died
Only thirty years old
Handsome, smart
Only thirty
I thought it the end of my world
The end of life
It wasn’t
There are many reasons
To go on living
His wife now married
Skylar, his daughter
Joyful, blond and three
My daughter, Lisbeth my strength
Compassionate Mark, her husband
Their children, adopted
Handsome Matthew from Guatemala
Beautiful Hannah from Virginia
My loving sister Laurie
My love, my heart, my wife, Jamie
Family and friends
My writing, my art
My faith
Life itself
March 1st his birthday
I face the sadness
Once again
I brake
I do not stop.
this is from someone JEREMY met in business that they both learned to
love each other - he is 88 years old - he is very special to David and I...-Jamie
Dear Jeremy:
I just found out that March 1 was the anniversary of your birthday....and
I want to thank you for being born and to have made such an impression on
our part of this world in so short a time.
I read almost all the messages on your Friend Ericalynn's website honoring your
birthday and was most pleased to see the outpouring of love from all you
knew you. I spent a warm tme going over the events listed and felt what
really was a celebration of your life....not usually done for someone who
left us much much too early.
I thought to myself as I read all these outpourings........of all the
millions and millions of people who have lived on this planet and have
crossed the sands of time without leaving the slightest hint of a
footprint.........here was a young man in thirty short years has left enough
of himself in so many lives that convinced me that you were an organ
donor.......you have donated some much of yourself to so many people,that
you will never die...there is and will always be a little bit of Jeremy in
all of us...and we all are much better for it.
Thanks, and sleep well, my friend..
Love
Your uncle Larry
Thinking of you too. I'm certain Jeremy would want all the people he loved to be happy on this day. It was a glorious day-we could not have asked for better weather. It's a good thing that we have a friend upstairs. Jeremy is in my thoughts and of course I'll wish him a happy birthday. What a mitzvah that he was loved by so many people. Love, Kathalyn
Hi Jamie and David,
Thanks for letting me know about Jeremy's birthday. I'm feeling really so sad for you both today and can't imagine the pain/overwhelming emotions you may be feeling this whole week.
I looked at the website and enjoyed the pics that you have on there of Jeremy. Since I knew so little about him, it's fun to see the little boy growing up within seconds of each picture changing on the screen. How fast(too fast) that time probably went by for you as well. I just spoke to my daughter Jordana on the phone in Canada and told her that I feel so sad whenever I think about you experiencing the utmost of sadness......I can't stop thinking about it. I don't like thinking about it and I wish it weren't this way. You are both so wonderful and knowing that Jeremy is not here to hug, talk to or even call on the telephone seems impossibly unfair.
Great, you were probably having birthday cake, playing with Skylar or doing something else to avoid this crap and here I am piling it on in your faces. SORRY> Really. I just want you to know that I am so moved by your continued efforts to move forward in your lives but never leaving your memories of your beautiful son far behind you. I wish I knew him better. I wish he could be here to guide my son down a path of CLEAN SOCKS and POSSIBILITY. I will always hope that the heartache lessens for both of you and that the creativity and vibrancy G-d gave to each one of you guides you to exciting places in life.
Once again, Thank you for having introduced me to your Jeremy and to the brief pleasure he bestowed upon my son.
Love and big HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS,
Gail.
Your Father, My Son -- Part II
by David Wainland
My dearest Skylar,
It has been a while seen I have written about your father and because today is his thirty second birthday it seemed to be appropriate.
There is a time the life of any person turns from truth to myth and that usually begins with their funeral. It was that way with your dad. Those that spoke eulogies did so in glowing tributes. Suddenly the things a person did wrong in life dissipate like early morning fog, Shakespeares play about Julius Caesar, quotes Mark Anthony as saying of Caesar in his eulogy, The evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred in their bones. Not true, no eulogy speaks of the bad, only of the good.
So the myth begins and the true worth of the man is often forgotten,
Your father is like that. When we honor him in our memory things that now endear us to him in death may have angered us in life. For instance, we laugh at the way your father kept his rooms, his cars, and his house. His world built on layers of clothing, papers, books and candy wrappers, we think of those times with laughter and love. Though while he lived those same habits drove us crazy.
Even today when I enter the bathroom I expect to find the sports section of the newspaper on the floor. When I sit on a couch I search for the loose change he would have left behind.
Your father had a thing when it came to white socks; he never wore the same pair twice. It was a joke to his friends and a source of irritation to his parents. After he died one friend explained it to us. He would say, Do you know remember putting on a new pair of white socks and how good it felt? For a few dollars I get that feeling every day.
While he never cleaned his car if he ever met somebody in need, a child or an adult, he was always able to reach inside that debris and pull out a gift for that person that would make his or her day.
He followed a band, The Disco Biscuits, the name hardly describes the music they play, and your mother referred to them as The other woman. Maybe they were, because his love for music outstripped everything except his love of family. You were his greatest love.
Somebody commented that Jeremy loved to party, he did. But more then party he loved taking care of Kira and you. He worked long evening hours as a waiter and as a physical trainer in the day so that you would lack for nothing,
He was working the late shift in a restaurant on New Years Eve; you were just two months old. You mom brought you to visit him and as he held you in his arms somebody fired a random shot into the air and the spent bullet hit him in the arm, missing your head by inches. It was a little miracle, but a devastating time for him. He almost lost you, but through the grace of God he had you for six more months, and then it was he who died so unexpectedly.
The night we lost him he was partying, The myth, but in truth he was celebrating having found himself and finally involved in a venture he felt would guarantee wonderful lives for your mom and you, That was the reality.
I spoke with him for the last time the night before he died. I never heard him happier. He had you and Kira and he had the success he longed for.
How do we separate the myth from man? It cant be done. Through the years the myth will grow out of proportion to the man he was.
Which one will I celebrate? My personal myth of course. The boy that was born in chaos, his struggle for identity, his time in the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, and the day he obtained Eagle. I will remember him as a freshman and junior varsity football player and as a national champion debater. Ill remember when he returned from his trips around the world he always had appropriate gifts. He never got it wrong. And finally I will remember the boy/the man who celebrated every occasion with flowers for his mother.
Yes, he partied hard enough to earn the respect of the band. They flew in to Florida from all points to do a special fund raising concert for you and your mom. Disco followers stood in long lines to say their own goodbyes and begin the new myths. They even built a website around him, www.jeremyland.net
I went to the cemetery today, the stone was there, he wasnt. I read a quote the other day that said it best. We dont have a soul, we are the soul. We have a body. His soul has moved on and in part it is in you, my little bit of Jeremy.
Jland,
So here we are, it's your 32nd birthday (yes, you're still older) and of course, I miss you so much. But you knew that.
First and foremost I want you to know that everyone is celebrating for you on your special day. Ira and I are going out for a drink in your honor and I think I convinced him to get sushi with me, as I realized that you and I never actually had sushi together but you somehow wound up having sushi with pretty much everyone else, and everyone had a story to tell about it.
I was laughing so much the other day when I heard the story again about how you went out for all you can eat sushi and ate the equivalent of 10 large cups of rice, of course, in the midst of your obsession with personal training and physical fitness. You're the only person I know who actually takes the term "all you can eat" to a level that is ridiculous yet maintain such a clean, together, wonderfully intelligent exterior ... and manage to convince those around you that 10 large cups of rice is completely normal.
Things haven't been so easy lately but I am always thinking of you and I'm so happy that there are people in my life who remember you and tell me stories like that (or remember things alongside me about you) and even happier that there are people in my life who never knew you but allow me to talk to them about you, even some who remind me so much of you that I can't help but feel blessed.
I talk to your mom every once in awhile and she is just so strong and so patient and so candid, and so proud of you; so proud of the life you led and how you led it, even though it was way too short for any of us to take. I also have become close with Kira which is such a great little surprise for both of us (I know you can hardly believe it yourself...!)
I know you always feared long ago that no one really loved you but I hope now you know that you were more than loved. Not a day goes by without so many people constantly thinking of you and remembering you and loving you, so please always keep that close to you.
Happy 32nd birthday, Jeremy.
Always,
e.
To all of his friends and family I may not have known Jeremy as personally and most of you but I knew him when he was a youngster. You see my mom "Lorraine" was their housekeeper
and you could say that Jeremy was my little "white" brother because he was like a son to my mother as a matter of fact she referred to him as her "white son" she attended whatever function there was and she always made sure that no one mistreated him. My mother loved Jeremy and out of all the kids Jeremy and mu daughter Nuney were her favorites. Jeremy was a good kid and was always polite. I know that he is greatly missed by all, but we must all remember that he is in a better place, no sickness, no pain and no worries. I guess you say how can I make this satement when I don't know how you feel, but I do I may not have lost a sone but I lost my mother (4) years ago and I know the pain and the anger but I know that she's with our "Heavenly Father" and so is Jeremy and they are having a grand ole time remembering all the times they shared and all the things that he did as a child. So put a smile on your faces and know that he is at rest and one day we will see him again. So don't fret just look up to the heavens and see his smiling face looking down on us.
In God's Care
Shorty
Jeremy, today Dad and I went to visit you. The day is cool with a little sun shinning. We came to wish you a happy New Year. While sitting there I said, you might not be here with us literally however, I knew you are always around us.
Tomorrow we shall spend Christmas morning with Skylar and her family. I spent last night packing approximately 25 gifts for her. We celebrated Chanukah with gifts a couple of weeks ago. She is just so special with that twink of her blue eyes, her look that you always had when you were ready to do something you knew was not quite right and that out going personality letting you know she is not scared of anything.
So while we might have sat with you with sadness today, we felt that you have left a legacy that will continue within Skylar, for this we will always be grateful. Jeremy, she is the cutest, and is so much you, thank you for giving us her.
We love you. xxxx mom and dad.
TO AL OF U I WISH MY GRANMAS FRENDS, MY POPIES FRENDS, MOMEES FRENDS AND DADDYS FRENDS A WUNDERFUL NEW YEAR I AM EXSITED ABOUT AL THE NEW TOYS I HAV GOTN AND WILL BE GETNG FOR I THINK THEY CAL IT CHRIXMAS, I CANT WAT TO TAR EVERYTHING A PART AND HAVE FUN I WOVE EACH OF YOU, SKYLAR
While I never had the pleasure to meet Jeremy, I know that we both shared a
deep passion for the Disco Biscuits. While most people outside the Disco
Biscuit community are unbeknownst to what makes this band and all their fans
special, there really is more going on than just music. Although the music
is what got me addicted, the many friends and events that I've had the
absolute pleasure of experiencing over the past 4 years have truly earned a
large place in my heart to hold with for the rest of my life.
It is because of this band that I have good friends who live in all the
different regions of the country, all of which I am always expected to run
into whenever I travel abroad to get my biscuit fix. I, like Jeremy, was
completely in awe of this band, for what they possess and their ability to
enhance our lives to a spiritual climax. Some of the best experiences in my
life have occurred at biscuit shows, and while to people who don't get it
could never understand, there's an intangible feeling that nothing else out
there can give me...I know Jeremy felt the same way.
Although I've never met Jeremy, I now have a connection with him. After
buying the astonishing benefit painting from the 1/17/04 show, I have had
the pleasure of getting to know Jamie Wainland, and for anyone who knows her
or who has spoken with her...she is an amazing person completely saturated
with positive energy. It's wonderful for someone like Jamie to welcome the
Disco Biscuit community with open arms and be able to comprehend what makes
this unique band so special to so many people.
"And as our bodies fly though space..."
I believe there is something out there besides what we see here on Earth...I
know Jeremy is still out there watching over friends and loved ones...as
well as attending every biscuit show. Now that the painting is a part of my
life and is displayed in all its glory, I'll always know that it is in
loving memory of Jeremy. Furthermore, the painting serves as a constant
reminder for me to appreciate everything I have experienced and felt with
the Disco Biscuits.they are not just another band. I'm utterly thankful to
have had this community be a part of my life for the past 4 years, and I
know that they will all be there for many years to come, for there are still
countless moments to be had, and many more friends to be made. With
everlasting love for the Disco Biscuits, the fans, the Wainland family,
Kira, Skylar, and Jeremy,
~Kenny Rawlins
A crack in the sky
By David Wainland
The sounds of thunder followed me
from Florida to Virginia.
Chasing me through airports
and down highways.
Casting darkness all about
hiding the light of day.
Out of the wet afternoon
stepped my daughter.
She held her children tight
against the deluge of tears.
We embraced and found the link
that I lost when my son died.
Matthew, my grandson, smiled
and wrapped himself around my legs.
Hannah, only thirteen months
beamed at me from her mothers arms.
A wall of emotion cascaded down
reminding me I still had those to love.
Tomorrow I will return home
still without him, but closer.
And when the plane cracks the sky
I will be the nearest I can be on Fathers Day.
Visions In a Storm
By David Wainland
I awake to a thick blanket of humidity
A new storm rumbles in the distance.
Lightning sheets like the northern aurora,
Hang in silvery veils in the midnight sky.
Wind trickles in and shifts the grass,
Then howls and bends the trees.
Bits of life float by steamy windows,
caught up in an Everglade tempest.
In the shimmering electric glare,
I see the energy my son has left behind.
It glows like a pale ghost,
Burning through my closed lids.
He strides around the house and yard,
Animated in death as he was in life.
Shifting from the boy he was,
To the man he became.
He gave us a run for the money,
I never knew he could run so far.
The gale drives closer,
Many lightning bolts become one.
Thunder rattles the walls and floors,
And his image grows dimmer with each strike
I miss him and I wonder,
Where he has gone does he miss me?
My wife stirs and asks,
Is there something wrong?
My hand reaches out and touches hers,
No dear, Im just listening to the rain.
I would like you all to say hello to Alan. I met alan this past Saturday at a very upscale restaurant while having lunch with my friends for one of thier birthdays. Alan took our drink order then our lunch order, as I looked at his name badge it read the town which I had moved from in N.Y. 17 years ago. We didn't know anyone in common, however, I did mention that my son use to be a waiter at 32 East in Delrey Beach and since we were in the same town he knew of the restaurant. He asked me my sons name and I said his first name and that he had passed away. He said JEREMY WAINLAND, when I said yes how do you know him, Alan said that they had worked together as waiters at Aoura in Delrey and everyone liked Jeremy, had felt terrible when they got the news, and all of the waitors came to the funeral. I would have never known being that there were over 250 people there that all of the people he had worked with before going full time with his training and working with PERU had been there to say goodbye to him or shall I say so long for now. The birthday was wonderful but meeting Alan really touched me and made my day. In one more month we shall have JEREMY'S unvieling. It will be a bittersweet day, we shall pay tribute to him at the cemetary then come back to our house where the rabbi will give his daughter a name in Jewish. This was KIRA'S wish for her and JEREMY. I will be forever grateful that Kira has done this. She has also chosen his best friend David Serle and his wife Samantha to be the guardian of SKYLAR. I told Kira she will always be around and never to worry, however, life is strange and this is what JEREMY would have wanted. So Kira, I will always love you for thinking of what JEREMY would have wanted, who knew him better or loved him better then you besides his family. xxxxx to everyone, Jamie
The year was 1999. My obsession with the disco biscuits was hitting full
steam. In the spring, after using the internet for school and work for
years and years, for the first time i found a community of friends online
through the Disco Biscuits email discussion list, called Discuss
Biscuits. Socializing online, a new concept at the time.
Sometime in the late summer or early fall, I saw an email on "Discuss" from
some kid from Florida, who needed a ride from nyc area where he was on a
business, up to albany, as phish was playing a run of shows that started in
Long Island then in Albany. I happened to be in nyc on business at the
same time, and was planning to make that drive myself, so after checking
him out based on a few comments in his post, i contacted Jeremy. seemed
like a nice enough guy, and i agreed to drive him to albany. and this was
the beginning of one of the most important, yet all too short friendships i
have had in my life.
Jeremy and I each had our own friends in Albany, and we didn't hang out too
much together during those shows. Afterwards, however, we began to keep in
touch more and more, and make plans together to go to shows. Most of these
were tDB shows, although we also spent most of the summer of 2000 traveling
together, seeing most of the Phish summer tour that year.
Over the years, especially in that first year or so of our friendship, I
introduced Jeremy to many people. Although he was much more social than I
tend to be, since I live up north where most of the people in our small but
growing scene were based, I just met them first in many cases. And as time
went by, Jeremy began introducing me to more and more people, since it
never took him long to make friends. One of the first people Jeremy
introduced me to was Kira. Although she didn't travel often with Jeremy, I
got to meet and spend time with her most of the times she did come along,
and we all spent one of the best weeks of our lives together for the Phish
Millenium celebration at Big Cyprus, in Florida. Several of my college
friends had rented an RV, and we met up with Jeremy and a few carloads of
his friends at his house, and proceeded to caravan to the festival.
Anyway... these are some of the early memories of my friendship with
Jeremy. In this first year or so we knew each other, we visited each
other's homes, and soon began plans to start a business together. We had
some amazingly fun times together. We learned a lot from each other, and
I continue to learn from his memory to this day. We also had some not so
amazing times - it was almost like we were brothers, and with that
relationship came occasional disagreements, or "competitions" over girls,
or other things that people who are close to one another find getting in
the way at times. The thing is, we always got past those problems, and we
seemed to get closer as the years went by.
We each made changes in our lives, and I'd like to think those were for the
better. One of the things I was looking forward to more than anything else
this year was that I was supposed to be working in Florida for a few months
over this winter, and I could not wait to meet Skylar, spend quality time
with Jeremy and Kira, and somehow feel like we would be able to take our
friendship into a more "adult" phase of our lives (not that either of us is
the type to ever completely grow up, I mean where is the fun in *that*??)
So, this winter, after some career changes on my part, I ended up not
working in Florida, but going down anyway for the benefit shows that the
Disco Biscuits held for Kira and Skylar. I now have pics of all 3 spread
through my new home, in philly. I think of Jeremy ever day, and try to
make those thoughts a positive influence in my day.
And still, I think there is one time I miss him most. In our love of
sports, we had many favorite teams that opposed the other's favorite. And
just about anytime the Patriots played the Dolphins, or when the Redsox
played the Marlins in interleague play, we would talk - before, during,
and/or after the game, often several times. I can only imagine how much
fun we would have had as we hoped for a Redsox/Marlins world series this
past year. Of course, I took Jeremy's side and rooted for the Marlins to
win it all (its just a damn good thing that darned curse continued another
year, cuz I never could have rooted against my own team!).
On that note, I think I'm just about done. Jeremy, you were one of the
best friends I ever had, and I will miss you forever. As long as we are
talking about sports, though, I guess I have one request for you, hope you
don't mind. If you happen to be in some place now where they keep track of
things like curses against baseball teams, could you do an old friend a
favor and see what you can do about reversing that damn one involving the
bambino?
It was summer, 2000, and Jeremy and I were nearing the end of a month-long trip around the south, northeast, and midwest seeing Phish. We wound up in Oberlin, Ohio at our friend Jesse's house, to complete the tour.
Suffice it to say that Jeremy and Jesse's extreme personalities were a sight to behold pretty much any time of day or night.
Which brings us to this picture of them.
I don't quite know how this really started, but Jeremy and Jesse started to sing songs, particularly an imitation of a Disco Biscuits song named Magellan, and while doing so, also engaged in a philosophical discussion on the personalities of the bandmembers and what would happen if Magellan suddenly met its musical/lyrical rival in a Disco Biscuit song.
This probably means very little to most people in the world, but this is, by far, my favorite picture of Jeremy. Jeremy and Jesse singing and playing air guitar after a complete overanalyzation of a band and their songs. The lyrics: "I had to sail for my life." One of my most cherished memories - not only of Jeremy, but in general as well.
I bring you: I Had to Sail for My Life - Jeremy and Jesse, July, 2000.
Hello My Name Is Jeremy Dobski and i'm 16, and I knew Jeremy for only a
small amount of time, and he left a huge impact on me. Jeremy was my
personal trainer for a week, because i was only in Florida for a week
visiting my mom.
Jeremy worked me hard, if the words "I can't" came out of
my mouth it meant push ups. If I didn't do the "homework" he assigned me,
push-ups. Jeremy liked to discipline, when he needed to. He was
very...artistic with his training. He would trick me into doing an
excercise, and I wouldn't realize it until afterwards. He taught me a lot
about myself and gave me a lot of confidence. After that week i digressed in
my excercise and eating habits. But recently i got back into it, and as I
was doing it I was thinking about Jeremy and what he would say how he would
push me, because he knew I could do it. He meant a lot to me, and it's
amazing because I knew him for such a short while. Now I'm losing weight and
it's thanks to Jeremy. I think about Jeremy at least once a day. I just want
to say thank you to Jeremy one last time.
Thank You Jeremy
I remember when Jeremy was visiting White Plains, NY, and I was working with
Stukes Atwood (later became Corporate Trade Solutions). Jeremy was doing some work with Don and Jake - consulting and sales, etc. This was before he got into personal training. We went to lunch a few times, talked a lot about science fiction. We kept in contact for a long time thereafter
He came back to White Plains some time later and discovered an allergy to cold.
"How can someone be allergic to the cold?" I asked. He showed me - blotches on
his arms, only from going outside in the cold of New York.
He left for Florida almost immediately thereafter. We've always kept in touch,
and even exchanged books now and then by mail. I hadn't heard from him since
last July. I had no idea he was gone.
I'm glad I got to know Jeremy - he was always enthusiastic and thoughtful about
so many things. He is missed.
Jeremy and I were born on the same day four years apart... we'd sometimes celebrate with a secret birthday lunch at kansai, where we'd talk about our futures and our pasts and how we'd eventually lie about our ages, and he would order his rolls with brown rice and lecture me on the healthfulness of brown grains. I am forever linked to Jeremy through our love of tequila, our strange tongues, and our birthday and I will always have a bitterness to my happiness with each year when I wish him happy birthday.
It's true that I met Jeremy through Jason and we became friends that way. We had so much in common, including a common love of debate, sushi, and some sort of delusional fearlessness, it's was inevitable that we'd remain friends for years after.
Jeremy knew how to push anyone's buttons. It was one of his gifts. It was his very effective way of reminding the world of how intelligent he was without being impetuous. Jeremy still pushes my buttons each time I miss our talks or think of him and forget for a moment that he is gone. Jeremy and I had a pact never to judge one another so that we could always have an objective point of view to bounce our ideas. We shared a lot and he was one of few who held my confidence and trust. He was unconditionally supportive of my ventures and always sunny where others were pessimistic or discouraging. He always encouraged my creativity and didn't laugh when I said I wanted to be an artist and nurse, and simply told me that it was my way of making the world a better place. And that's exactly what he did-- he made the world a better place. And through his friends, loved ones, and his little miracle, Skylar-- he still is. a wonderful friend whom I honored and appreciated and will always miss. Thank you, Jamie and David for making him I will always be thankful for the time I spent with him, although too short.
Hello everyone, my name is Chad Brofermaker. Jeremys family and mine have been very close friends for a long time. I have memories of weekends and vacations from when we were like 5 or 6 years old. Our parents to this day are best of friends. So Jeremy was like a cousin to me, we were never really close but we always knew what was going on each others lives.
After he moved down here to Florida I was still in NY and I would hear stories from my mom of how he won this debating contest and that one over and over. I guess that is where he polished his verbal skills.
I remember picking him up from the airport when he came back from his backpacking trip and living in Israel, he went on and on for hours telling stories that made feel proud of my religion something I really didnt care either way about at the time.
After that we really didnt have much contact until maybe 5 years ago when I started playing fantasy football. If you dont know that was a true love of his and by the way he was Good!
Not only at playing but the best part of our league and that is talking smack.
Fantasy football for those that dont know is where a group of people in our case 12 have an actual draft and select players from the national football league. You take several quarterbacks, running backs and so on. You then mange your team by picking which players to play every week and making trades, dropping guys and picking up new ones. These players are awarded points every week based on performance.
Our league is hosted on the web which allows us to put up articles and pictures telling everyone else well basically whatever we want. Some guys would say something like your team sucks I am going to win blah blah blah Jeremy would drop a 3 page dissertation telling you why your team would lose making you scratch your head wondering where he would come up with this stuff.
Last year the two of us faced each other in the Superbowl. Jeremy had taken a picture of my mom holding a newspaper and put captions on there telling me to lose the game or I would never see her again along with other things I wont say at this time.
I can go on for a while about his stories he truly put his heart into each one.
His team was originally the Gainesville Greyhounds. Gainesville for his love of the University of Florida Gators and his parents Greyhounds. He switched the team name before last year to the Guatemala Greyhounds in honor of his nephew Matthew who was born there.
My team won last year however he did beat me in the Superbowl. David Serle his best friend and president of our league, has taken over Jeremys team and made a new trophy for the league and renamed our league to the Wainland Keeper League.
As last years winner I get to keep the trophy until next years draft. As much as I hate the reason why I have it I am glad that it was either Dave or myself that has it for now
I thought about Jeremy last night as the Marlins won the NLCS. He must
be watching along with the rest of us. He may have even influenced that
Cub fan to keep Moises Alou from catching the ball. I know he will love
the World Series.
I remember the day Jeremy came home from the hospital as a newborn. He
came into the world receiving tremendous love from his family, and he
never ceased to return his love to everyone he met. Jeremy left all of
us with a little piece of him, and he will continue to live in our
thoughts as well as our memories.
I love you Snake,
Jonny
I remember the day I actually met Jeremy and his mom Jamie for the first time.
It was a special day, a day that feels like yesterday.
I had worked for an internet company
"Tradeout.com" . an internet company that I thought would make me rich and in fact it did.
Not monetarily the internet company as many others does not even exist any more, but through it I met my now husband
and wonderful friends Jamie, David and Jeremy. A person can't get much richer than that.
You know the saying "you can only make a first impression once", well that certainly holds true here, and what a wonderful first impression Jeremy made. At our meeting.
sitting with him for just minutes you could tell that was a bright savvy man. Then watching him interact with his mom only enhanced my feelings about Jeremy. You could see the love ,caring and gentleness in Jeremy. He was quite a young man, the type of man you hope your own children grow up to be.
Well I did have the opportunity to speak with Jeremy quite often after our first meeting while I was still working at Tradeout. Each time I hung up the phone I always thought to myself "good job Jamie and David". Now of course even though I think the world of Jamie and David we can't give them all the credit. Jeremy had a way of taking life to it's fullest you could hear it in his voice see it in his eyes even though we met only once. He had a kind soul an old soul one filled with wisdom.Jeremy always made me feel that for him life was one great opportunity.
Robin Rothenberg
Some time ago, I was fortunate enough to be in a relationship with Lisbeth, Jeremy's sister, which in turn resulted in a relationship with Jeremy and his parents, David and Jamie. I am even more fortunate to have maintained a very close relationship with the Wainlands. The whole family is exceptional....they are, simply put, "good people." Jeremy was no exception, and bad things should not happen to good people, especially at Jeremy's stage of life. They are a very close family, and he is lucky to have been part of it, as they are to have had him as part of theirs.
I remember seeing him in a debating competition and being impressed with his ability to communicate, to relate to people, and be convincing at the same time. Even being an attorney, Jeremy made a lasting impression on me.
He was also a sensitive person. At David's 60th birthday party, he made the effort to approach me, sensing I felt a little out of place, and took the time to ask about my life.
Although I had not seen much of Jeremy recently, he did leave a lasting impression regarding some characteristics of his which I admired. He had a certain presence, a confidence that emanated from him. He was self assured and comfortable in his own skin, enjoying the journey of life as he sought to make his own way. With his beloved daughter, Skylar, and fianc, Kira, Jeremy was finally on the right path, and truly happy.
In short, as I stated above, Jeremy was good people. The kind of person this world needs a lot more of, not less. That's what makes his passing so tragic. I know he will be dearly missed.
Keith Goldblum
I will never forget the moment I instant messaged Jeremy and his mother wrote back to tell me that he had passed away. Although I hadn't known Jeremy for that long, his friendship was one that I valued immensely.
I met Jeremy at a Disco Biscuits show about a year and a half ago,and continued to see him off and on at shows, including last October, when the Biscuits played in Gainesville, Florida. Jeremy had just found out that his grandmother had passed away and I sat and talked with him for a long time about the ending of one life and the upcoming birth of another-his beautiful baby. This Biscuits show was going to be the last show he went to for a while, he said, because it was time for hime to "grow up and be responsible." Jeremy asked the Biscuits to play Hot Air Balloon, one of his favorite songs, in memory of his grandmother...I happened to be standing next to Jeremy as they played it and I held him as he cried throughout the entire song...In that moment, I felt such a closeness to Jeremy. I will never ever forget that day.
After that show, I got e mails from Jeremy a lot, and after the birth of Skylar he would always send pictures of his beautiful family. Although I never saw Jeremy again after that night last October, he continued to be a good friend to me, through e mail and phone...I miss Jeremy so much-He will always be in my heart, and the hearts of so many other people that he touched with his humor, smile, and sincerity. My deepest condoleences go out to his parents, Kira, Skylar, and anyone else who knew and loved Jeremy.
Love,
Liz Miser
I haven't seen Jeremy in about 15 years. But, when I heard about what happened, it felt as though I had seen him just yesterday.
only knew him for three all too brief years through his involvement in the Boy Scouts. He was one of the guys who made the summers at Boy Scout camp so magical. It amazed me, as I thought back on that time, that such a short bit of time could have such profound and lasting memories associated with them, but, that's just the sort of person he was. I think I speak for everyone who had the privilege of spending the summers with him in saying that the sheer force of his personality, good will and affection seeped into us all and changed us all for the better. There's not one of us who can say that we're not better people for having shared in the most fleeting part of his life. I guess that some people are just the physical incarnation of the blessings that life can provide--and Jeremy was certainly one of those people. Thank you for sharing your life with us, Jeremy. You'll never be forgotten.
Best wishes,
a
What made Jeremy Wainland tick? I wish I had spent more time with him to find the answer to that question.
Jeremys sister had a great idea which she mentioned during Jeremy's funeral and I am taking her advice and writing down many random thoughts and memories that dear Jeremy has filled my head with.
I first met Jeremy way back during high school in the late 80s. I got to really know Jeremy during Boy Scouts. He was, in my mind at the time, a really loud person who always charged forward with his debate lifestyle. Jeremy took it to extremes, always letting you know why and how he was right and you were wrong. I was not such a big social person in high school, and did not participate in debate, but was in band instead which Jeremy loved to make fun of. Our circles in life were not quite close at that point in life, but I was always aware of this guy who was really open about every subject imaginable (and sometimes unimaginable), kind of rude sometimes, and very loud.
As I mentioned, Boys Scouts is where our circles in life came closer. He sometimes got this really serious look in his face, kind of tightening his lips to show that he meant it. He held various leadership positions over the troop, and would get very upset if people did not listen. His speeches were a combination of yelling at you, but also patiently explaining how it should be and why.
He called me Mr. Gonzalezalways drawing out the a..perhaps it had something to do with his New York roots. Now that he has passed on, Ive been hearing a lot more Billy Joel music. Not by choice, but by chance. Something that broke my heart even more was this morning on the radio during the ride into work, having the song only the good die young come on. Jeremy was so good so clear and direct, so smart, so alive, so full of energy, so full of wisdom. I believe this song now more than ever.
Any recent phone conversation would turn into a business / life lesson of some sort. With his new Peru project, he asked for me to think of anyone in my family in Latin America who could work with his company. I think that was part of Jeremys core in being successful. As a friend, he was still able to naturally bring business into the picture. He was such a great person, always moving forward in business without hurting a friendship. Jeremy also mentioned about taking natural products for getting healthy. I mentioned how I had high cholesterol, and was about to start taking a medication called Lipitor. He told me he would be trying out a natural method himself, based on a friend of his who knew about natural healthy solutions. If it worked for him, he would let me know more so I could try it. I thought it was very nice and thoughtful of Jeremy to try something himself first before giving me a chance to try it.
The last time I saw Jeremy was when he came to West Boca Medical in late March to visit us because my wife Laura had just given birth to our first baby daughter Gabriella. It was really really really nice of Jeremy to think of us and stop by for a visit. He took pride in showing us the recent pictures of Skylar. The pictures were very very cute. Jeremy had to leave and left his cel-phone behind. I dont remember, but I know we spoke to someone via the cel-phone, to let him know that he had left it in the room.
Pausing and looking back on this letter, it does not do a good job of covering all that Jeremy did with me, and how he impacted my life. These are only a few tiny bits and pieces that are coming to mind during this sad time in my life. It is so hard to believe that he is not here, physically anymore. No matter how much I write, I could not properly represent all that Jeremy was in my life. What an unexpected thing to happen. I miss Jeremy and cant believe I wont be hearing him call me Mr Gonzalez any time soon.
As Jeremys sister said, we should weave our thoughts together and keep Jeremys life alive. That is the purpose of this letter. He is an unforgettable human being. I will be praying for his soul and will be praying for his family and friends. I am very lucky to have known him, and to have gotten to spend some time with someone who was always full of energy and wisdom. I look forward to the day when I get to ask him for the answer to the question that will always be in my mind during my time here on earthJeremy, what makes you tick?
Andres Gonzalez
Dear Wainland Family,
I was very shocked and saddened to hear about the untimely passing of Jeremy. In case you don't remember me, I am the Scoutmaster who took Jeremy to Camp Kunatah, on Chappy Hill. Of more recent times, the fellows from Chappy were regularly e-mailing each other with thoughts, memories, and good old making fun of each other. I am happy to say, Jeremy was amongst our Chappy e-mail group and his input was always anticipated and welcome.
Jeremy was a lot of fun, a very adventurous young man, with a thrift for life and a good time. He was a good friend to those who knew him, and a pleasure to have around camp. He prided himself on his knowledge and skills (like his ability to play ball - he loved being on the Chappy team).
Thirty years old is much to young to die. But let us be thankful for knowing him, and let us keep him alive in our memories. Speak of him, refer to him, and enjoy his daughter; in this way he will live on.
Again, for heartfelt condolences on your most tragic loss.
With a heavy heart,
David Lelonek
I recently lost my father or I would have written sooner, my name is Allison and I was close to Jeremy and Kira so close that I was chosen by them to be Skylar's godmother. Jeremy will be missed very much by so many becuse he touched so many lives, I remember when I first met him Kira introduced him to me we immediately had a connection, we weathered good times and bad but through it all different crowds we still remained friends... And thru Jeremy I met two wonderful people his parents . I love you Jeremy and will always remember you
Allison
My name is Peter Falk, Jeremy's older cousin. Aside from Jeremy's obvious attributes caring, selflessness, intelligence, and a great sense of humor, I want people to know how he most recently touched my life.
Not too long ago I went through the most challenging crisis in my life. Jeremy was right there for me. I had not seen him in a couple of years, and he made it a priority to come and see me in New York, in my time of need. I wasn't surprised, however it reaffirmed what I have always known about him; he puts others before himself.
I will always remeber the pride in his eyes when he held his daughter, Skylar, and the big smile on his face as he laughed with his fiance' Kira. Jeremy I will miss you, as well as everybody who knows you.
my deepest condolences to you and the family.....
writing good things about jeremy is the saddest thing i have ever done but at least it is an easy task, still in hysterics i hope this is readable. i have nothing but great memories of times spent or conversing with him. i considered him one of the most easy going people i have encountered in the past few years. i first remember meeting jeremy in santa cruz on 10/14/00 after a disco biscuit show(although we may have been introduced before that night)......i distinctly recall standing in front of the venue trying to figure out where me and the kids i was riding with were going to stay. then steps in jeremy, insisting that we come join him and a few others in a hotel room that he already had. at that point in time i knew none of the people in that hotel room, some of which are now my best friends and my second family......jeremy was even nice enough to let me have some bed space that night......next to him :) hahaha now that i think about it, it was such a funny evening to begin what would be a friendship that ill never forget. another night that stands out from that week was when i was not allowed into a show due to my young age, jeremy spent SO much energy trying to argue my way in.....it just such a kind thing to do for a young girl who he met 2 days earlier.....just an example of the kindness and positive energy that poured out of him.
most of my memories of times spent with jeremy are also coincidently my favorite nights that i have spent travelling the country. me and him always got along more than most people did because our personalities were so similar.....i really cant express how much i will miss him.....i am truly honored to have known him and to even become closer with him throughout the past year as he went through some enormous changes in his life. it made me a happier person to see each and every step of this from the moment he told me that keara was having a baby until last week when i was talking to him about the engagement party/wedding. through some talks, he gave me some extremely on point advice that although i didnt heed his warnings eventually i heard the 'i told you so' and listened from there on in to what he had to say, basically because he was so similar to me just a few years ahead. last october when i was in florida for the biscuit shows i went over his place after the ft. lauderdale show on 10/14 which happened to be exactly 2 years since that night in santa cruz where we met.....we stayed up talked about the paths that both our lives were heading.....and that we both had some rough spots but that would just be learning experiences for the rest of our lives......since that night we have talked a lot and i smiled everytime i got sent another picture of skylar......who i am happy i got to see with her dad and mom 3 weeks ago on father's day weekend, it was so great to see him with his daughter in his arms.....it truly touched my heart to see the gleaming look in his eyes.....although im still in tears, its kind of comforting to know that he was so happy at the time of his death.....everything falling completely into place....every phone call from him was just one of excitement about either skylar, keara and even that he was back doing the business that he loves. yesterday i said to my friends that tears flow alot better than words......its just so hard to express in writing how much i will always love and miss jeremy......he is the perfect example of a great person, great friend, great son, great father and great fiance......an honest and caring person who did everything in life to keep a perfect balance of making himself and his friends live great, happy lives.......knowing him definitely changed my existence for the better....and i really mean that.....he was such a positive force in my life......hugs and kisses to all his family!!!!!
MUCH LOVE,
Lisa Klein
Hi everyone, my name is Jamie and I am Jeremy's mom. I want to thank each
and everyone of you on a daily basis for helping my husband David, myself,
Jeremy's sister Lisbeth and family as well as Kira and Skylar get through
something that no family should ever have to endure.
Everyday is a little better then the day before. Not only was Jeremy my son
for 30 years, but I also considered him my baby and business partner as
well. We spent many years in business together. The one thing JEREMY always
said is that I was one of the strongest people he had ever known. So every
morning I get up and say o.k. Jeremy, I will be what you always told me I
was. STRONG - in business deals we spoke and many times we disagreed with
each other. I listened to him, he listened to me, and he always seem to make
more sense then me. He was great at debating idea's with me. Of course, I
should have known at the beginning of every situation, I never had a chance
to win. Believe it or not, he always seem to be right. JEREMY was like a
computer, with a photographic mind. I could ask him at any time how much a
customer paid for something 3 years ago and without going into our files he
could quote the price. He had a passion for his personal training. He
believed that people should eat healthy, work out often and watch themselves
on a daily basis. However, this week when we cleaned out his car, I found a
couple of candy bar wrappers. I would like to think they belonged to someone
else, so let's just say they did. There wasn't a day that went by that our
front door didn't open and Jeremy would pop in by himself, take the
newspaper, read the sports section, leave it on the couch then be prepared
to say hello and talk. Many times he would walk in with something flopping
in his right hand, only to look down and see Skylar his daughter bouncing
around in the car seat. Skylar, well what can my husband David and I say
about this situation. We watched Jeremy go from Kir'as pregnancy, to being a
father to being a fianc, which you could of as well called a husband. Both
Kira and Jeremy accepted each other for who they were. There love for each
other was one of strength with Skylar making it a threesome that no one
could break thru. I would see the way he would look at Kira and the way he
would look at Skylar. A look I never quite saw before in his eyes. A look of
contentment, a look of excitement and a look of true love. For all of this
both David and I will always be grateful for. Most people spend all of their
life looking for that special person or people and never find them. In
JEREMY'S short time here, he achieved and found something special, LOVE.
Jeremy had a special relationship with his sister Lisbeth who lives in
Virginia. He always shared the good and bad times with her first, we were
always second to know. He loved and respected his brothinlaw Mark and had a
special place for his aunt Laurie who only saw Jeremy thru rose colored
glasses. He loved to play with his nephew Matthew who now realizes he has
gone someplace special. As for his father David, well that was another
story. They were as close as a son and father could be. They spoke on a
daily basis, discussed sports, books, went to ball games together and
movies. There wasn't anything David wouldn't have done for Jeremy all he
ever had to do was ask.
Well everyone, to say that we won't miss JEREMY walking thru our door on a
daily basis would be a lie, to say we won't miss his cute smile, big blue
eyes, sense of humor and kindness would be a lie. In fact we will miss
everything about him. However, it is better to have loved and lost then
never to have loved at all and JEREMY was so loved.
We are so very grateful to all of you for keeping his memory alive, that is
all we have, please keep it going for him, for all of us. With appreciation,
caring and xxxxx Jamie and David Wainland
On May 5th, 1999, I walked outside after our concert at Jack Straw's,
in Charlotte N.C. to meet with the kids who had come out to see us in
the south. This is the first time I met Jeremy Wainland. He was
excited. So was I. He was always excited. That was the thing about
Jeremy. That was what we had in common. Our love for music, our
constant excitement, and our Jewish Mothers.
Everytime I saw him, he was excited about something. It was actually
quite infectious. Over the years, Jeremy became one of the more well
known faces and voices of the biscuits' scene. I have hung out with
him in Washington, NYC, Santa Cruz, North Carolina, Florida, Chicago,
Philadelphia, Detroit, and nearly everywhere in between. His energy
was amazing, anyone who knows Jeremy can attest to that fact...He was
just full of energy, all of the time. Jeremy touched nearly everyone
in our scene throughout the last four years.
One thing that sticks out about Jeremy was his concern for the band
as people. He knew how hard it was to be traveling around, and rather
than just talking to us about the music, he would always be more
interested in talking about us, the people, which means so much to
us. It was as if Jeremy had turned into a Jewish Mother himself,
always trying to baby us, always wondering if we had been eating
enough, always asking if WE were ok, and if there was anything he
could send us... Did we need new scooters, or backpacks, or golf
clubs?...
And there always seemed to be news coming from Jeremy, or about him.
We would hear about his business. To this day my closet is actually
overflowing with the gifts he would send. I have more golf clubs than
even the most experienced golfer would ever need thanks to Jeremy's
generosity.
We would hear news about his new life. Jeremy is having a baby. "What
wonderful news", we all thought. Jeremy is getting married. Jeremy is
becoming a health nut. My mother even called me once to tell me that
she had seen him on the news, of all things he had been grazed by a
bullet. The fact of the matter is, Jeremy was so well known in our
scene that even my mother knew him.
This last bit of news is absolutely devastating to everyone in the
disco biscuits. We had become accustomed to the fact that Jeremy
would be much less present at our concerts due to the increased
responsibility he had. I was not surprised to hear from his mother
that he had been working 18 hour days of recent. But none of us were
ready for the news that Jeremy had seen his last Disco Biscuits
concert, or of course much more important than that, that we had seen
Jeremy for the last time.
The last time I saw Jeremy tears were rolling down his face as we
played the Hot Air Balloon in memory of his grandmother in
Gainseville, the only time he had ever asked anything of us. Today,
we all shed tears in memory of Jeremy. Jeremy, we will never forget
you, buddy.
"If I had three wishes, I'd wish I can see you again."
Marc Brownstein
Jamie and David Wainland, Jeremy's parents, wrote this to their business associates the day after Jeremy's funeral.
---
Dear Friends, this is the hardest thing I ever had to write in my life.
On Sunday, July 6th we lost our son Jeremy Wainland 30 years old. Many
of you had done business with Jeremy while he was with me, many of you had spoken with him several times, many of you had met him through music tours and so manyof you had gotten to know him and had become his friend. Whether it was business you ended up speaking about or sports including fantasy football or just life, he cared about all of you.
My husband and my heart are very heavy at this time. We buried Jeremy
yesterday and over 200 people showed up for his send off. He had also
followed a group called the Disco Biscuits. There are hundreds of e-mails
and pictures on how he effected their lives. Jeremy had just come back
from PERU with his dad where they started a monster of a business. PERU
crys for him - PERU, David and I are dedicated to bringing his dream home. For
those who wish to make this happen with us we welcome you, for those who
knew him personally we say how lucky you were,for those who never met him
you would have loved him, for those of you who started to know him you at
least had that chance of a beginning relationship.
Jeremy leaves a fiancee Kira and child Skylar. His engagement party was to
be the 9th of August and his wedding March 7th. We have set up a fund for
his 7 month old baby Skylar . We ask in lieu of baskets, or anything you
might have thought to send whatever it is you can give for Jeremy's baby you
can send to:
Sklar T. Pladl c/o Lisbeth and Mark Schnurman
12331 Bradford Landing Way
Glen Allen, Va. 23059.
I know there are no words you can say to us at this time, however to his
business friends grasp that moment that affected you the most about Jeremy
and keep it with you, for those who never met him in person when you have a
drink next time, toast Jeremy, he would have wanted that. I now close
with a very heavy and sad heart. We are proud to call Jeremy our son and will
always love him, he will never be forgotten. For him we will be back to
work next week, for his dream we will bring it all the way home. With many
feelings, his mommy and daddy, Jamie and David Wainland
As I read through these submissions and on the disco biscuit website, I realize most of you do not know me. Jeremy kind of had 2 lives that never intertwined until now. My name is David Serle and I have known Jeremy for 17 years. I grew up with him and we are and always will be best friends.
Jeremy always spoke very highly about the close relationships he had while going on tour. He valued all friendships and all those people we never met. He met everyone. He was the type of person that if there was 10,000 people in the room, before you got to the water cooler you would know who Jeremy Wainland was. He always stood out. That was Jeremy. I lived with him for 3 very long years. If you haven't lived with him than you might not appreciate how messy he was. I really thought I was the messiest person alive, and I was wrong, really wrong.
Unfortunately, something like this has to happen in order to really and truly know how much Jeremy met to us, and it plain sucks. Jeremy taught me a lot about life and how to live it. He was instrumental in I meeting my wife and in just about everything important to me. Jeremy was my mentor, my best friend, and a person who I miss very much.
I am not a person who really cares for music. However, Jeremy got me to go to the Phish concert in Florida for the Millenium. I had the best time. Any time I hung out with Jeremy I had a great time. Jeremy was just full of life, always energetic, and sure liked to talk a lot.
When I attended his funeral, it hit me like a brick. I did not know what I was going to do. I knew I had to be strong for his family who were like my 2nd parents. So when I was asked by his family to speak at his funeral I said of course I would. For those of you who do not know me, I do not like to speak in public places. So I decided I was going to do what Jeremy would of done and just say what I felt in an impromptu speach, and I know Jeremy was there to help me. Jeremy and Kira were planning this wedding and I was supposed to be his best man and prepare a best man speech and not a eulogy speech. I am going to miss you Jer. I will try to write a couple funny stories I have of Jeremy in the future. I just wanted to introduce myself and if any of you just want to talk email me at Davidserle@aol.com.
It's amazing and wonderful that so many people have already added their memories of Jeremy to this thread. I can't believe I'm sitting here barely 24 hours after we first heard the terrible news, trying to compose my thoughts and I already feel like I'm behind the curve due to this tremendous outpouring of love and sorrow...
I first met Jeremy on April 22, 2000, at the Triscuits show in Keene, New Hampshire. The night before had been one of the most powerful experiences of my life, playing with the trio at the Middle East in Boston. I knew Jeremy's name from Discuss and when I got to the show in Keene people started telling me that he was there and he would like to meet me.
Now, that was a seriously weird period of my life, and one I've never really discussed publicly before. Starting on that day for the next month or so I got a tiny taste of what it's like to live your life in the public eye the way the guys in the band do, and it wasn't exactly fun...a lot of people who previously didn't give a rat's ass who I was were suddenly trying to be my friend because a little bit of the band's well-earned fame had temporarily rubbed off on me...and then many of them just as quickly forgot who I was when my fifteen minutes were over. But that strange month was also the beginning of a few great friendships that lasted long after my little time in the spotlight was done, and my relationship with Jeremy is foremost among them.
So that day in Keene, this straight-looking guy comes bounding up to me with his hand outstretched and a grin across his face, introduces himself, and congratulates me. He had a million questions to ask, and clearly wasn't gonna rest until he knew exactly, in excruciating detail, what it was like to be on stage with my (and his) favorite band.
At first I wasn't sure what to make of him. I had only just met him and he was acting like we were old friends. I was in a politically very sensitive situation and I guess my own cynicism had me constantly sizing up the people around me, trying to figure out what their angle might be. But I spent a lot of the show with him and as we continued to discuss music and ourselves I realized that he didn't have any angle at all...he was just genuinely excited for me, someone he'd never met before, to the point where it almost felt like he'd been the one onstage instead of me.
He was (god, I can't believe I'm using the past tense :( ...) the kind of guy who was always eager to meet and get to know anybody. It wasn't just me; EVERYBODY was Jeremy's old friend the moment they met him. Over the years I would see it happen again and again. He just loved knowing people and talking to them...with Jeremy you never had to make awkward small talk about the weather or your job. Somehow, whether it had been six hours or six months since I'd seen him last, there was always a real conversation waiting to happen...he had a way of cutting efficiently through the bullshit of normal social interaction and getting immediately to what was real: who people really were, what was really going on in their heads and in their lives, whatever was really important. In retrospect I'm extremely grateful for that because I can say at least that in the time I knew him that words were never minced and punches were never pulled...that we always made the most of our time together, and built a real relationship that went way beyond "that guy I hang out with at shows." From what I've read about him here and elsewhere, it sounds like many, many others can say the same, which I think is a powerful testimony of the kind of guy Jeremy was and the love he had for everyone around him.
A week later I hung out with Jeremy again at the show in Philly, and we stayed at the same hotel afterwards, which is where I learned about the crazy bastard's GODDAMN SOCKS, which I can't believe no one else has mentioned here.
Jeremy wore a new pair of socks every single day. Seriously. I saw him sitting there on the bed in that Econolodge with an 18-pack of white athletic socks, and I made some crack about overpacking for his weekend trip to Philly. He replied, in his ever-cheery, matter-of-fact way, "I wear a new pair of socks every day." The thing about Jeremy was that he always had such a big smile on his face that it was really hard to tell whether he was being serious with you or pulling your leg. So I just sort of stood there. Obviously he'd been through this experience a lot of times before, and dealt with people's weird looks, so he had his well-practiced explanation ready.
"Look," he said. "Doesn't it feel great when you put on a brand-new pair of socks for the first time?" ...to which I of course agreed. "So, this is my vice. I'm lucky enough to make a little bit of money at my job, and this is how I choose to indulge myself. It's cheaper than smoking, and it doesn't hurt me or anyone else." I couldn't deny that he was making sense. And of course he anticipated the next logical question: OK, but isn't it a little wasteful? (which, when you think about how wasteful almost all of us are in our lives, is kind of silly, but I think everyone always asked just because they were so shocked by the whole thing that they couldn't think of what else to say) And of course he was eager to reply that in fact it was not: he KEPT every single pair of socks after he was done with them, because he felt bad throwing them away. Someday, he would get around to giving them all to Goodwill, so that thousands of people out there could enjoy once-worn white socks at a fraction of the retail cost.
The temptation to reach for metaphors at times like these can often be too great. But I think that really does say a lot about the kind of person Jeremy was: for better or (sometimes, anyway :) for worse, he was always thinking. There was an inspiring intentionality to the way he lived his life...every aspect, thought and action had been carefully thought through, and he always had an argument ready to defend them. I didn't always agree with all of his choices or his views, but at least you could rely on Jeremy to really mean what he said and did, which is a rare characteristic in this day and age, and one I found almost boundlessly admirable.
Jeremy and I were both on our high school's debate teams, and I'm humbled to say that he was able to go much farther with it than I ever did: he participated in national competitions, which was clearly a source of great pride to him even a decade later. When he first told me that it made so much sense that I was shocked I hadn't guessed it in the first place. He had a debater's mind: he was always prepared to justify every little thing he did, whether anyone else cared to challenge them or not. And, like me, he loved to argue just for the sake of arguing...he would never give an inch until he absolutely had to, and took great joy in winning debates on endurance alone. He found an endearingly childlike satisfaction in the moment when whoever had dared oppose him would, with an exasperated sigh, cave and say the two magic words: "you're right." (whether they really meant them or not :)
For that reason Jeremy and I always loved to talk politics, and during this last war he kept my inbox full of more stories than I could ever hope to read about it, from every possible point on the political spectrum. Frequently he'd even call me because he'd just read some story that was so mindblowing that I had to go read it RIGHT THAT SECOND: email just wasn't gonna be fast enough. Once again, I was awed by the lengths to which he would go to form a conclusion...he wasn't going to settle his mind one way or the other until he had considered every relevant fact available to him. When I got into public skirmishes about the war, Jeremy's presence kept me honest, because I knew if I made the slightest factual error or if any part of my argument was not totally sound he'd be there to tear it apart. It was frustrating that he wasn't always on my side, but he earned my admiration all over again by channeling his thorough, meticulous nature into everything he could, even things he had no control over. I still don't understand how he could possibly be reading as much as he was while also holding down a job and raising a child...
And that brings me finally to the saddest, cruelest, most unfair part of this inexplicable loss. Jeremy was the first one of my friends to have a kid, and the joy his baby daughter brought him was so infectious as to be overwhelming...as effusive and gregarious as he always was, it got turned up 500% as soon as Skylar was born. Looking back, the last contact I had with Jeremy was an email about how much Skylar, even at 6 months, already seemed to be loving and consuming music as eagerly as her father ever did. It's a tragedy in the fullest sense of the word that she will never know the man I did, but it still brings me peace to know that the final months of Jeremy's life were, in his words, by far the happiest. I only hope that someday down the road I'll be able to meet Skylar and see her father's mischevious twinkle in her eye. Goodbye, my friend. You will be missed.
You go to a lot of shows, you start to meet a lot of people. Jeremy was definitely a character. I only hung out with him maybe a dozen times, and we were never good friends or anything, but he always stuck out in my mind as a energetic guy who always was psyched about something or had something he wanted to talk about.
The last few times we talked we had just started to connect, mainly about some things we had been going through, the shock and suprise of parenthood and the joys he was just starting to experience as a father. There's a bunch of people here who are mainly going to remember him as a fun guy at shows, someone to party with, and he certainly was that. But although Jeremy and I never got close, I'll remember him as a guy who was commited to turning himself into the best father he could, and to work on creating a bright future for his daughter...
So I'll mourn the loss of the bright future that was certainly ahead for Jeremy, but I'll be glad for the young daughter who will carry that future forward.
Rest in Peace Jeremy
Andy
This was posted to Phantasy Tour by Colleen:
some other thoughts about jeremy that have come to mind recently...as I have thought of him most of the day...
1. When he got "cold-itis" cause his florida blood couldn't handle the weather. I remember shivering with him outside of the electric factory last new years...(01-02) and I remember him freaking out about how cold it was in san fran on 5/11/01. he was getting bumps all over from the weather.
2. He used to randomly sublet from bino and live in ny quite a bit. He'd seen a great deal of old RANA. :)
3. He practically forced me to let him buy me dinner at the location of my choice on 5/11/01. Granted that is my birthday, but anyone who has ever noticed my eating habits, especially back then, knows what torture that would be to someone who eats food with flavor.
4. He always knew when to randomly call and make me smile. He had a radar of when I was really losing it and would call me and (big brother-ly as goldberg already said) tell me how proud of me he was because I was young and could have fun and keep my sh*t together simultaneously. He always let other people know they were special and why.
5. The hat and the champagne last new years (01-02).
6. The fact that he enbraced all the changes in his life with a smile. He changed careers to a less lucrative one, had a child, and was planning a wedding. He was in school at part of this time. But he always kept his cool and remembered to smile. He was always a force of positivity in whatever crowd he was in, no matter what he was faced with.
That's all for now, I'm sure I forgot about 47238571924385 things that make him special to me!
Jeremy posted this on October 18, 2002 to Discuss Biscuits, a forum in which Disco Biscuits fans can write about the shows they see and the experiences they have. Jeremy had seen many shows of many bands, but this particular one had special meaning to him...
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Wednesday night I walked into the Florida theater to see The Disco Biscuits. For me personally there is no more significant venue than the Theater.
Nearly 10 years ago on 2/27/93 I walked into the theater with a friend to see a band I had never heard of, Phish. It is hard to quantify how much my life has changed since that day. I was just two days shy of my 20th birthday and the events of that night would mark a serious change in my life and essentially define how I would live throughout my twenties. Now just a few weeks before the expected arrival of my first child and a few months shy of my 30rth birthday, I have come full circle to the room that started me the path I have walked, run, stumbled and traveled for nearly a decade.
When The Disco Biscuits officially announced their fall tour I circled the For t Lauderdale show as the highlight. After nearly four years of touring behind the band they would be playing in my home town. Ethan Shwartz had worked long and hard to get a home town show and it was a big day for my good friend. As the shows grew closer though I found myself fixated on the Gainesville show. There was so much history for me tied to that room.
As a sophomore at the University of Florida, I was a frat boy, a member of the debate team, and pretty much a strait edged guy. I had been drunk twice in my life and never had tried any drugs. My plans were to plow through UF then maybe go to law school or get a masters. My musical tastes were tied to the radio, with the exception of my love of Rush. My cousins had tried to get me into the dead as a kid but I had passed for the likes of Van Halen.
Music didn't mean all that much to me, I went to concerts bought CD's and pretty much listened to music in the background. I never watched MTV and never made it a point to go out of my way to see a show.
Yet there I was in the Florida theater back in 1993 to see a band that I had never heard of and suddenly my life changed. I started collecting Phish tapes, traveling around Florida when Phish came to play. I made new friends and tried new things. Within a year and a half I was no longer a student at UF. I was living on a Kibbutz in Israel with a solid collection of Phish tapes. Exploring the world challenging all that I had believed and being inspired by music, art and creativity.
Upon returning from Israel in time for Phish's Florida run in 1995 I moved back home for a while and enrolled at Florida Atlantic University. I started following Phish more and more and expanded my musical tastes. I also began to get into the rave seen in south Florida. Music became the driving force in my life, despite never having attempted to play an instrument. Every weekend I searched out music, went to festivals, raves etc.
Mostly out of luck I joined my mothers business in 1996, made a bunch of money and started to tour more frequently and out of Florida. My business allowed me to expanded my lifestyle, flying all over the country to see shows and making two more long excursions with my backpack to Europe. While overseas I saw more music attended more raves and essentially slipped further and further from the path of law school.
My life has ebbed and flowed around the music / rave seen for nearly 10 years now. The highlight of which has been the last four years seeing the Disco Biscuits. I have traveled to every corner of the country in every state of mind to see this band play. Through them I have met dozens of friends and found out about tons of new bands. My musical horizons are always growing. So it was fitting that this week I returned to the room where my life took a strong change in course with my favorite band and some of my favorite people.
On the morning of the show my Grandmother passed away. I drove from the hospital to the show relieved that her pain was over but deeply saddened that she didn't live to see my daughter born. Upon arriving at the show I made my first and last request for a song ever to each and every member of the band. I simply asked that Hot Air Balloon be played that night. I specifically asked that there be no dedication or mention of my name. I just wanted the song. My favorite song of all time. It had so much meaning that night, back in that room, my grandmother passing and the changes in my life. Aron and Marc both told me before the show that I would indeed get my "habber" and I cried like a baby through the entire thing with Liz patting my baby from the first row a place i rarely stand. Aron and Marc both looked at me knowingly several times. It was truely emotionaly the most moving Habber for me.
As it turns out the Gainesville show is my last for this year. I won't be at the holiday run. My place is with my daughter on her first new years. I am back in grad school, starting a family and finally settling down a bit. When I walked out of the show of the venue a couple of hours after the show, I felt complete, I felt closure. My life seriously changed in that room 10 years ago and for several months as the pregnancy has progressed and the realities of a career changed have settled in, I have mourned the apparent loss of the life I have led throughout my twenties. I am not giving up on music or my friends or the rugged independence that has made me Jland for the last 10 years. I am merely growing older, more mature, and planning for the first time to have someone in my life who depends on me being a little more sane and home a lot more often. The transition has been painful, that is until Wednesday night. When I got home Thursday it didn't feel painful, it felt right.
It has been an incredible wonderful ride, I recommend the "20's" to everyone. Enjoy them grow through them, live learn and have fun. I treasure each and every day, every show, ever experience and mostly every friend. You the people I have met since that first Phish show mean the world to me. If it wasn't for raves I would never have met Kira and we wouldn't be have a child. So much turned, so much happened all because of one ticket to one show.
People call free tickets to shows a miracle, well then my free ticket to 2/27/93 was the greatest miracle of all. It has been an amazing ride. I am not going away forever. Yet my days of 30 shows in a year and all night parties are numbered. Suddenly diapers, a new career and life in my 30's are just about here. I will always be around but I am as of now hopping off the bus at the same stop I got on, The Florida Theater, What a venue, what a show.
10-16-2002 My personal Best show ever.
I remember first meeting Jeremy in a hotel room just outside of Philly the day of 4/29/00. over the course of that summer, Jeremy and I got to be friends. In the past 3+ years Jeremy has always been there for me. When my mother passed away last year he was definitely one of the strongest people I had to turn to. He was always a beacon of light even when things didnt look too promising.
Very often I would find myself talking to Jeremy when I needed the advice of an older brother. We'd share stories of good and bad and then try to figure out where we had gone right (or wrong). Living so far apart (me boston, him florida) we didnt get to hang out all that much, but we did keep up fairly often away from shows. But what really stands out are many many tour stories. West Coast fall 2000 stands out. so does southern run 2001. and I'll never forget the night that he was so fed up with my inability to navigate the Great Woods parking lot after one of the phish shows in fall 2000 that he made me get out of the drivers seat (of my own car) and he then got us out of there in less than 5 minutes. I was very happy for Jeremy in the past year. After some problems in the business world, he had decided to change his life around. he stopped doing things that were harmful to his body in almost all ways. he was taking classes on nutrition and how to be a physical trainer. he was SO happy about his baby girl, Skylar. And he was getting very excited about his wedding to Keara that was to take place this coming February. I was excited to go to florida to be at the wedding...and i hate weddings. Through all of the situations that I'd been in with Jeremy, from Vegas to Atlanta, there were occasionally squabbles with other people about stupid stuff. And like wendi mentioned, that stuff was just the ephermeral. that was just the surface. when you truly got to know Jeremy Wainland, you knew that he was a kind, warm, and caring individual that was bubbling with life and really did care deeply about his friends and loved ones. I send my condolences to his family, both new and old. He will be missed.
love always,
Jon Goldberg
i met jeremy back in 99. i think it was on the southern tour that ended in atlanta. since then we had a lot of experiences together... some good, some bad. but nobody's perfect, especially me. no matter what, i was always able to look at jeremy and just know deep down he was a good person.
we hung out a lot during the florida run in october, and he was as kind and generous to me as anyone could have been. he was so excited about his daughter, telling everyone how he was turning his life around, and how he was really growing up. i too, heard about jeremy's grandmother passing away, and gave him a hug in the middle of his tears during the hot air balloon. i knew he had a lot of hope in his heart. i hope he was able to pass some of that on to his daughter, and family before he passed.
my thoughts go out to his friends and family.
deeply saddened.
I just wanted to add my piece. I barely knew jeremy, but i did meet him a few times back in the day. Its really unfortunate, i hope the family and all close friends will be able to pull through this ok. I find that the loss of someone close is one of the hardest things to deal with.
I really agree with his philosophy on doing something that makes a difference. I just spent the last 2 years of my life in business school, and i came to realize that its all about making a positive impact in people's life. I really hope that by when december comes, when i graduate, that i will get a chance to be in the business of making a difference.
i also believe in living every minute fully. You really never know whats going to happen tomorrow. I also believe in positive risk taking, the kind of risks where you really have to make an effort to step out of yourself but the worst that could happen is that you end up exactly where you started.
Brian Friedman posted the following to the Phantasy Tour message boards:
im in shock... jeremy was a close friend.. i met him 4-12-01 in the double tree lobby, he impressed me with his adapt social skills / ability to manipulate a conversation... although the music wasnt anything above average that evening jeremy's performance was executed with a certain professionalism that i will miss dearly...
he showed exceptional prowess in kidnapping tigger and nonchalantly clipping him to his back for several hours without my detection, not to mention he saved my life from certain destruction that night for which i believe i owed him a life debt. Jeremy made my hotel room at the double tree come alive.. hotel security "Claypool" was partying rather loudly, in our hospitality suite meanwhile jeremy held the TV remote in one hand trying to get the MUTE function to work on "Claypool".
Jeremy was certainly one of the nicest most honest "true to self" people person i have ever met... this news comes as a total shock and i am deeply saddened... to this day i havent been able to thank him enough for saving my life... im going to miss you jer
Ethan was one of Jeremy's closest friends. He broke the news to Jeremy's "online/scene" friends by posting the following to the Phantasy Tour message board on 7/7/03. To read the rest of the thread, please go here.
Hello Biscuits fans and family. One of our very good friends, Jeremy Wainland from Boca Raton, Florida, passed away on Sunday. He was 30. His mother called me tonight and told me Jeremy suffered an aneurism Sunday afternoon. He leaves behind a brand new baby daughter.
I first met Jeremy in early 1999 on DiscussBiscuits when talk of the band visting Florida first popped up. I was railing away about how bad a state this was for live music and how the band should never come play here, and Jeremy emailed me privately to let me know there were other Biscuit fans in the state and I should do everything I could to get the band here. The first show Jeremy ever saw was at Jack Straws on 5-7-99. Afterwards Marc came out and hung out with us, talking for awhile about the common thread the 3 of us had, all of us being unescapably Jewish with said Jewish mothers. It was quite a fun night. The next night we went to Ziggy's and partied a little too heavily, and Jeremy was stuck driving us around Winston Salem at 3am trying to find Chris Woody's house. Needless to say, he ran a red light and cut off a cop, we were pulled over, and Jeremy, using the inbred bullshit card all of use Jews learn by living with said mothers, managed to talk the cop into giving us a warning and letting us get on our way.
I saw many more shows with Jeremy over the next 4 years, we flew to New York for the infamous Irving Plaza show, and Jeremy was one of the very first people I called, giddy with excitement when I told him I was bringing the Biscuits to Florida for the first time last fall. He caught the Culture Room show, and then, what I think was his last show, in Gainesville. His baby was due in a few weeks, and I remember vividly what he said during the show. "I never ask for songs, but I asked them to play a HAB'ber for me." Jeremy's grandmother had passed away a week earlier, and everythign in his life was coming to a head what with the baby coming, his new job, basically everything in his life changing drastically, and I remember when they started playing Hot Air Balloon, the tears running down his cheeks as he watched his favorite band play this song for him, I went over, gave him a great big hug, and said good for you.
Jeremy was a great supporter of what I started doing down here 3.5 years ago, and I dont think anyone besides myself was happier that night the Biscuits played at the Culture Room in October.
I'm really stunned right now. This is the 2nd friend I've had die on me in less than a year and it's really scary. I guess when my friend Dan passed away in september the reality of life hit me, and now it's finally set in. No one ever knows how long we have, so live every minute fully. The funeral is on wednesday, if anyone would like to send a message to Jeremy's family please email me ethan@southfloridajams.com and I will print them out and give them to them
This was posted by Kira to the Phantasy Tour message board on 7/13/03.
To read the rest of the thread, go on ahead.
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Most of you don't know me, I was the 'pain-in-jeremy's ass :-) I was the one who b*tched when he left town for Biscuit shows (sorry 'bout that, I was selfish of his attention), you might remember I showed up to one show in Seattle in my Tigger PJ's :-P BUT he was My Hero, allways...
"Its you and me against the world" It was from the very first day, when we left a Rave to climb that tree in some random neighborhood in some random yard and talked until people started waking up and coming out of their houses. And he asked me to come home with him and watch Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas on DVD. Then we didn't leave the house for three days. Just hung out and ordered pizza in... I told him right then I was going to make him adopt me...
He told me it was at the May 12th/13th show during the Hot Air Balloon the year that we met that he realized he was in love with me...
Just the weekend before we were at a party and I sat in his lap and he was looking around at our friends "Look at Mat, he's trying to make what we have" (Mat married haistily) and "Tony is trying to buy it," (trying to impress strippers with his money and machismo.) "Look around at all of them (you know the scene single people bumping and posing and feeling each other out) They are here looking for what we allready have, each other, True Love. You and me, forever." Oh God! at the time I thought he was just being silly and mushy, and I was only half listening to him... I was even thinking I didn't want him hugging me so tightly because it was kind of hot and crowded in the room and we were both sweaty.
This is so hard for me,
I stayed with him as long as they would let me, running my fingers thru his hair holding my cheek to his, hugging him, kissing his cold forhead, his cold cold lips, i stayed with him until they forced me away to start the services, he was so cold, and yet still looked like he might at any second 'wake up' but he'll never wake up, he went to sleep and he'll never wake up.
I Watched them close the casket on the love of my life.
There were so many people at the funeral (over 200) that there were not enuff seats there were people standing leaking out into every hallways for him, he was so loved... My poor hero, he was an arrogant twit but underneath it all, I don't think he really believed that anyone 'really' knew or loved him. I hope he was there, I hope he saw.
I watched them lower the casket into the ground, they spoke prayers in hebrew that I did not understand, it does not matter because I will never understand. God gives and god takes... How can I explain that to my daughter who I can barely care for myself, why her own mother cannot hold her without feeling such pain and faintness in my stomach I'm afraid I will drop her. Who will play bouncy baby, and Robot Sky with her now?
My daughter took the dirt from Jeruselum from my hand and together we dropped it on the lowered casket and whispered
"Good-bye Daddy."
"Good-bye Daddy"
Monday I have to go back to the house where we were beginning our life together, myself and my daughter, to start living again and I just don't know how I am going to do that... (I WILL have you all know there is a big framed photo-negative of the Biscuits on our bedroom wall)
Thank you all for your condolences your memories and your love, and especially those of you who have contacted me, but I would like to ask that someone help me collect the threads and things that he wrote and were wrote about him to put together into some kind of book for Sky. I wouldn't even know where to start...
She DOES look just like him, and babbles non-stop :-) not a shy bone in her little body... And she loves Drum Circles and classical music. And she is sitting right now in her playpen with 'Blerm', those of you who do remember me and Jeremy 'together' will remember Blerm, our little Trip-son. :-)
